Imperfection |~

How Does It Feel, How Does It Feel .. !

The first day in the second grade of elementary school, we had eventually met. Those were me, Abdulalrahman and Abdulaziz. I'd hooked before with Abdualrahman in a primary school indeed, but somehow we didn't like each other very much to be friends. Maybe because all we cared about was who's wearing the luxurious, classy t-shirt. Anyway, our friendship got started as I remember the day we found out that there's something very mutual among the three of us, something we all liked a lot. That something was straightforwardly a midnight club PlayStation video game. Most of our weekends we just name the place and the time with so much anxiety filling us up and Hello, we are there. Ever since then we were called friends who had their best of the best moments only while they were together.You see people, all of that was just fast, life's moving really fast .! 

After being all set to pass the second year, Abdulaziz was going to freak out because of his father's present. His father was going to buy him a car and thats kind of something considering the age of ours back then =). Auuh, I wouldn't be the memory-awesome guy to count down the times he asked me over the phone about his new car's color and model, which actually had me repeatedly to say " yeah this is PERFECT dude .. you just get it done pleaaase " as a response. He decided on getting a dark, grey 2008 snazzy ( well .. snazzy to us I guess ) Nissan auto and it happened. The three of us couldn't have more fun than hanging out by the car. Prestigious restaurants, recreation rooms and almost all of our ' God I wanna be there " usually with an innocent look on the face " seemed so cushy to reach. Goodness that was really fun. It didn't take that long till  Abdulalrahman caught his first car too. I was terribly possessive of them for not having a car but I'd definitely kept this a secret. My dad's frequent noes slid me to poop out even to just think of a one " LOVE you father ". 

We'd finally left the elementary with excellent GPA's and automagically got our selves registered for high school. High school was different. I mean it was really different. The year I noticed we were changing and changing here was a good thing. The way we were thinking, the way we were used to enjoy our time had been gradually changing. That's absolutely natural because we all know getting upstanding and grown is most likely to be at this age where you just stop grilling people about your ludicrous stuff. Around high school, we felt at first as what any other student often feels. I don't know it was such a cryptic, vague feeling and that wasn't any more cryptic when the first three weeks had gone. The sole matter there was me and the two blokes weren't in the same high school during all our semesters we had, in the first and second grades and this is a thing we did have in the elementary school. Each one of us lives in a different neighborhood so tragically the legislation says we should split up and we couldn't convince our fathers to make the transfer of mine or theirs.However, that actually turned out to be something good. We were longing more than any time to a see and can't wait for the wednesday to show up.

Jumping in to the next year of high school ( the second grade ). We were truly planning on going to the eastern region of saudi arabia as soon as we are on the lengthy summer vacation. We'd gotten our parent's permissions done and set everything up for the foreseeable trip. Despite the scarcity of our funds, my band's primary motivation behind doing this deluxe one as it seems was we would love to spend a bunch of days out of the usual routine, on the beach and together. It was going to be out of this world road trip. The summer vacation was about to begin, we had some gibberish left to study and right after we got that over we couldn't be more better to work on the trip. Abdulaziz was going to be the driver, Abdualrahman and I were gathering up some necessities and just waiting for the predictable phone call that would make the declaration of " dudes, get your feet in the car". We received the call from abdulrahman but unwillingly he had to say " dudes, we have to put this back for a wee while ! ". Me and Abdulrahman were looking to each other in the eye startlingly so shocked like " we've been planning to do that for weeks .? ". But Abdulaziz had been under a severe situation which was his aunt who lives in another city was going to come over to his home so the father couldn't have let Abdulaziz to go on. Anyhow, we just understood and tried to make that as a good thing. Mapping that out again made up a promise to do the inevitable trip sometime after Eid Al-Fetir. We didn't really pick a day in particular, we just let it to be on someday after Al-Fetir. 

Days dashing fast specially since we were lying idle. Zero school, zero homeworks and absolutely that was great. The lovely Ramadan had come and there's no time more extraordinary than the instants that you'd have in this month.The lovely-lovely Eid Al-Fetir was two days ahead of us and O.M.G. I should write this O.M.G half a dozen times to be worthy of the happiness in that day ( love it ). You gaze your eyes at those people who are moving here and there with a big smile on the face, they often flail around once they gaze their eyes back at you ( just kidding ). The days of every year which cannot ever be forgotten. I hadn't talked to Abdualziz nor Abdulrahman during those days because everyone was just wrapped up at shopping and getting presents. On the Eid Al-Fetir day, and as usual, we had our marathon get together with the family of course and some relatives, we were cheering almost all day long and that was awesomely awesome. When the watch's short hand was ticking around 10 p.m., I made my call to Abdulaziz first saying my Salams and congrats on our startling Eid. I hung up and forthwith got Abdulalrahman on the line. At the moment I was bit by bit falling asleep and secretively waiting for everybody to get home so that I can give my fluffy pillow a deep, drastic contact. 

Tomorrow's sun had been risen to the cloudless blue sky. It's the day that I wouldn't have wanted my self to be in. It's the day where I was meant to be sitting in front of my computer and answering the most severe cellphone call ever! Thats when I finished eating the family dinner with my sises and bros, dad and mom, I sat at my computer and like, within ten minutes there was that unknown person who'd dialed my number.I wasn't willing to answer which I often do to any unknown numbers but somehow making an exception for the number settled it and I took the call. He was a guy in my class named Abduallah who I don't really like and that might be the reason he was calling from a different number to his own one. I recognized his voice the moment he said " Alsalamou Alikoum ".

Abduallah :: how are you doing Ahmad .?  

Me :: hey Abduallah, I'm doing really good thanks, how are you .?

Abduallah :: I'm good Ahmad, thanks a lot.

Me :: Alhamdullah.

Abduallah :: umm, Ahmad do you remember Abdulaziz, our guy in the elementary class .?

He had an idea about me hanging out with him a looot back in the elementary school but I think he didn't know that I still was during those days.

Me :: yeah, yeah sure, what about him .?

I didn't want to dwell on the fact of Abdulaziz being a very devoted friend of mine, so I was just pretending that I barely know him.

Abduallah :: I've been told by a friend that he had some kind of a car accident on Al-Qassim \ Al-Sharqiyah highway this morning and died!

Me :: Azzoz  .?

Abduallah :: yeah, Abdulaziz .

Me :: . . . . ..

I stunningly stared at the kitchen wall for some secs, yeah I stood up and left the old oak chair I was sitting on exactly after hearing those words. I started walking while I was on the line with him till I saw a good patch in our kitchen. Weird to find a good one in kitchens but I did.

Abduallah :: Ahmad .?

Me :: . . . . ..

Abduallah :: hey, are you still there .?

Me :: alright listen, I'm going to call you back, Ma'asslama.

I cut it off, wondering and whispering to my self desperately like a freak. It's not true or it couldn't be true, I was talking to Abdulaziz over the phone yesterday's night and he was in Unaizah. He didn't mention any traveling thing which meant, all of what I just heard was a crappy prank, someone wanted to horse around or something. I went upstairs, got my self in my married brother's room and left the door half shut. I have no clue why I didn't close it behind me, suspiciously frightened, but I was still holding my feelings up. I dialed Abdualrahman's number and once he picked up I yelled at him with a shivery voice.

Me :: did you hear something about Abdulaziz .?

Abdulrahman :: no .. why .?

Me :: you haven't heard anything .?

Abdulrahman :: noo .. why .. what is it .?

Me :: this guy Abduallah in our class just hung up saying Abdulaziz has died in a car accident!

At this particular sentence, I had fallen into a grueling crying jag that I shouldn't had done while Abdulrahman was still on, I just really could not tolerate keeping that anymore.

Abdulrahman :: dude hey .. are you serious .?

Me :: I swear to god I heard that from him and I'm not poised yet thats why I called, so I want you to make sure of it, just call someone or anything.

I was crying so hard while saying those words. I was also able to confirm things by my self. I guess I wouldn't had wanted the whole thing to be real. So hard if it had been!

Abdualrahman :: god no .. god no .. alright I'm gonna find out and call you right back.

And he was gone. I sat down on the floor in floods of tears. An abrupt thought to call Abdulaziz's number, I started looking at my recent calls with a blurry view due to those tears and got Abdulaziz on the line. Guess who answered .?. The gruff brother with the tedious sentence " The number you've reached is currently not available, please try again later " and I just knew it was all true, so I'd fallen into a deeper uncontrollable cry.

My sisters were chattering in the living room and once they sort of heard someone was weeping out loud, my elder lovely sis Nora went to check that. Overhearing me in the room and trying to scoot inside. She'd figured out that one of my friends had died and started saying " hey Ahmad what's going on !? ". Telling her everything seemed a great choice to do.

While I was wiping my tears off my face, my talks, my laughs, my plans and almost everything I had with Abdulaziz was penetrating my head so quick and just vanishing into the air. It wasn't good, it was stern. At I think 2:30 a.m., I received a message from a guy in our class who I trust telling me about what I was expecting. Plus, where and when his funeral is going to be.

Hours later, I'd dejectedly dozed off and thank god I had. I was going to go nuts if I kept on capturing every solitary memory with Abdulaziz. I woke up in the afternoon and there was about one hour and a half till his funeral's time to be on. I got dressed and ready to move ( on ). Joey my bro, showed up at the outside door offering his ride to the mosque like he was professionally reading between the lines how I wanted him so much to go with me. I detested going alone that day.

We'd reached the mosque and immediately I was searching out a place where I could be sheerly comfortable. One thing I might tell about what it was like in the mosque .. It was fervently and sincerely a heart to heart talk!

" My almighty Allah, please place my friend in the highest grade of your paradises, and please .. let me and everyone I love be together up there .. with him " Amen.

Up to this part is where my story should be ending at. I've wanted to write down these words since quite long ago. It's such a spectacular feeling holding my 3 bucks blue pen and hauling off those memorial thoughts to my diary ( as a first kind of go ). It really is. 

I wish people ( me included ) could always realize how fortunate we are. We're exhaling and inhaling, swinging by, playing charades .. We're having a life .!

P.S. To my friends Abdulaziz and Abdulrahman, we're going Inshallah to meet up once again. For sure it won't be in this life. But through a one that the eternity takes place in . . . . ..




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When It Rains ..

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Those sinuous maroon leaves would definitely get wet every time it does. They also won't get affected by that. 

Shouldn't we have the same reflex of theirs towards at least some of our severe                      situations .! 

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Discovering a Different Color of Life

I've been shooting lots of pictures lately and it occurred to me that holding a camera with your own hands, and your breath for 5 seconds just to capture what it looks beautiful out there is an amazing chance to take. Amazing because you sometimes have to innovatively create the picture before capturing it. I ain't an expert or something, I just hadn't thought about how hard it would've been to do this thing till I took mine. Here's what I came up with so far :: 

Any suggestions .? =) .. I'm going to be posting many of the kind by the next days. I hope you'd like them all. You take care. 

IMPORTANT : All photos in my blog that don't have my full personal brand name on ( CopyRight AhmadPe® ), are NOT mine and they don't belong to me. 

Arabic Calligraphy ..~

It's beautiful .. Did you ever see an Arabian person writing some words by using Arabic calligraphy .? You've got to see that if you didn't. Because the way his hand moves would put you in an intense shock =). I used to smile and sometimes laugh when I sit right beside my brother and see him does the calligraphy. I totally don't know why but it feels like someone tickles me and tries to make me laugh ( lool ). I used to, that's not anymore. When I became around 13 year old, this talent ( thank god ) started to step in inside my hands and ever since then I was overly practicing and working on it. The fact is, I haven't made my hands the same as my brother's but I might say that I've got about 55% of this calligraphy thing =). Here is something a little bit weird, my parents aren't at all good at writing. Actually my mom doesn't even know how to write and my dad isn't any good at it, but all my brothers and sisters are talented at writing. Considering the fact of being in quite different levels. So yeah I'm going to show you guys what the Arabic calligraphy is, which will be a very quick and simple content indeed. I mean I'm not good enough yet, plus I'm going to let you  have an idea about what I know. That tells you there are a lot of things about this subject I'm not capable of holding for now =). Arabic calligraphy has tens of fonts and each one has a specific name. I will post six of them that have the maximum fame and familiarity and give you what each has in particular. The word that I will be using to show you these fonts is Ahmad ( أحمد ) and you know whose name that is. Shall I ;) ::

1 \ النسخ or Alnaskh ::

This is the most celebrated and popular font around, and its used very commonly in everywhere. In cellphones, education, newspapers and in any other formal matters. I could say 90 percent of your computer printouts ( sent and received ) would be by this font. Notice that it doesn't have to be exactly identical of this picture. There might be some subtly different angles or widths which would make it not that different =). There's a little thing I didn't mention above, that's some Arabic fonts have many ways to write under the same name. More explanation for that I'm going to write at the end of this post. 

2 \  الرقعة or Alroqa'a  ::

That's the best of the best to me guys .. I usually use this font whenever I have to write. its one of these fonts that would perfectly go smooth with your fingers. One of its features is you could write as fast as you can and it doesn't at all have any arduous slants ( to me .. I said that already  ^_^ ).

3 \ الكوفي or Alkofi ::

Sorry people, I couldn't make my hands any better on this paper =). This is not the kind of fonts that is widely used. It's rare, very rare times to me actually to see some papers written by this one. Probably this would theorize why I'm not that good at it.Another point is I don't really like it ( no hard feelings ) XD.

4 \ الحر or Alhur :: 

It's a cool one =). When I see this font, the only thing I remember is my hilarious witty niece. This font is actually a snap to use. Its not that customary for you to use it in formal papers though. 

5 \ الفارسي or Alfarsi :: 

A very decent raw attractive font. If you guys have recognized how suitable this font is with the decorations around. I'm not saying the other fonts cannot be suitable enough, not at all. What I'm saying is this font lets you not to spend a lot of seconds wondering about where the prominent spots are for those decorations. 

6 \ الديواني or Aldiewani :: 

I noticed a little difference between the first two pictures so I posted them all =). The last one is ( Abdulrahman ), my best friend's name. I would say this is the most daunting and challenging font ever. I mean this font needs a real talented hand not like mine. I would do better than that if I practiced a lot before (^_^). Me I totally admire this one and I often use it to impress people. Because its really impressive. To me too =). 

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I guess I'm through now =). I really enjoyed posting all of that. About the thing I've told you that I would explain in the first font. I believe it would be a lot easier to do it graphically =). The first font could be written as in the following picture :: 

This font is named the same as the first one, they are both Alnaskh. But as you can see they are not typically the same. Why is that .? Because the lines of these two fonts are somehow connected to each other. The way my hand moves to write them isn't at all different. 

Take this as another example :: 

Are you catching on now. Hope so (^_^). Before I tell you what this one is, haven't you spotted any, any similarities between this font and one of the above .? That didn't really work out XD. It's Alroqa'a guys. I completely believe this one should be named Alroqa'a too. As I told you the way this font slants and the angles are somehow not different from that one. But as it looks, its a bit different. 

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Now, as far as I know I'm officially done ( loool ). I really hope you guys liked everything in there (^_^). If you think what you just saw is great, then I'm pretty sure that you would say its nothing compared to my brother's calligraphy. He's a serious shot ( oh yeah XD ). Alright, That is it.

- don't forget your Mashallah with you.