I'd had almost everything a twenty-two year old guy wants in this life. A decent car, secure funds, a great major at university, an incredibly amazing family, great friends and I literally couldn't have had better.
But the thing was, the more I had, the more steps I took backwards in the way leading to Allah!
The more steps I took backwards in the way leading to the happiness!
My father has showed me a couple of times where and how to taste that happiness. For that reason, faint and temporal kinds of happiness " which I don't call happiness " are no more interesting to find.
I couldn't stop thinking of what humans would do if the more they give, the more they get treated bad!. Allah keeps giving us things that others don't have and in return for that, we tend to abuse the trust he has ordered.
It'd at first started with a ton of self-dissatisfaction.
Turned to backing away from everyone I know but my family.
Raising my hands, Allah, I need to stop!
Help me to stop.
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي ظَلَمْتُ نَفْسِي ظُلْمًا كَثِيرًا، وَلَا يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلَّا أَنْتَ. فَاغْفِرْ لِي مَغْفِرَةً مِنْ عِنْدِكَ، وَارْحَمْنِي إِنَّكَ أَنْتَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ.
اللهم أرني ومن أحببت الحق حقًا، وارزقني وإياهم اتباعه. وأرنا الباطل باطلًا، وارزقنا اجتنابه يارب العالمين.
سبحانك ربي ما أرحمك! سبحانك ربي ما ألطفك.
الحمد لله .. ♥
Assalam alaikom w rahmatu Allah w barakatu
ReplyDeleteI am sure about you closed your account for a while... I am just sure, I remember I checked it up and I didn't find a thing, it said it was close, I check again and it's open...
I hope you're getting closer to Allah subhana wa ta'ala and to the way of happiness like that :)
Barak Allah feek ya Ahmad.
Wa Alaikom Alsalam Wa Rahmatu Allah Wa Barakatu!
ReplyDeleteMajod! It's almost 5 years, and I still remember that AMAZING recitation of Al-Fatiha MashAllah ^_^.
I've said that before, I'm still saying it. That audaciously sophisticated character of yours in your story, It's got to be special, you're special.
Yeah sis. I've been busy and I don't get to be around my blog anymore. I've almost quit blogging. I've almost quit the entire internet thing xD.
Can't just tell you how much I'm appreciative of your words! Can't thank you enough.
Wa Barak Allah Feek Ya Ukhti Al3zezah .. = )